Prehysteria

If nothing else the recent atrocity of an attempt at a blockbuster that is “Jurassic World” will remind some viewers of how effective and thrilling Steven Spielberg’s original dinosaur chomping classic from 1993 actually was. Spielberg conjured choice cinema out of a singular concept of man versus beast ideology gone awry and proved such a formula could serve as, at best, intelligent summer movie fodder with enough thrills along the way to appeal to a large demographic. But Spielberg has been able to successfully merge aspects of thrillers with nuanced character and good storytelling for years ever since he himself created what we now know as the summer blockbuster movie season with the original “Jaws” back in 1975.

If goes without saying that director Colin Trevorrow is a much less experienced (and capable) director going into the somewhat daunting directing venture of the third sequel of this franchise. But what disappointed me most about this film wasn’t the lack of originality at hand but more the unavoidable fact that it was unnecessary to make.

Twenty two years after the events of the first Jurassic Park transpired it appears the newly restored venue is a zoo/amusement park hybrid with chemically engineered (man-made) dinosaurs which are bigger and meaner than the DNA comprised ones of the previous films. These vicious beasts are to serve no other purpose than to entertain droves of tourists paying money hand over fist to see them in action devouring either sharks or cattle as aggressively as possible. But as with the previous films....they will only be contained in the park for so long, and thus the plot thickens. They naturally escape due to the incompetence of some pesky humans who run the park, including Recreation Manager Claire (Bryce Dallas Howard) who was once confident that these newly formed and highly dangerous dinosaurs could never somehow break free and wreak havoc. Not to mention Claire’s nephews, Zack (Nick Robinson) and Gray (Ty Simpkins) respectively, are touring the parks various locations right as the dinosaurs become free to dine on any humans close by which sends man of vest sporting action and dinosaur behavior expert Owen Grady (Chris Pratt) to their rescue.

With CGI having come a ways since the early 90s there are the occasional moments of impact involving these new and improved dinosaurs, including one called Indominus Rex towards the end, but most of the dinosaur scenes are drained of impact since the people being attacked are so lacking in dimension. I would have to blame this primarily on the screenwriters whom seem more interested in devising interesting ways of dinosaurs killing off people as opposed to creating something resembling interesting human characterizations. Robinson and Simpkins are nothing more than plot devices as the stranded nephews. Their being sent to the park by their mom (Judy Greer), as a distraction from their parents impending divorce, is barely touched upon, although Greer is engaging and witty in the few scenes she’s given. Even newly minted leading man Chris Pratt as Grady, so funny and charming in last summer’s “Guardians of the Galaxy”, can’t quite overcome such a cloying script (although he occasionally tosses off some effectively witty one-liners which could have been the result of improv). Howard also seems stranded in such a muddled film which gives her nothing to do outside of looking distraught while running lengths at a time in fear; and high heels no less. There were moments when I wished Greer had gotten to play Howard’s part instead...at least then it might have been somewhat funny and self-aware. And least believable of all is that the normally reliable character actor Vincent D’Onofrio (“Full Metal Jacket,” “Daredevil” Netflix series) resorts to shameless mustache twirling as a crazed ex- military colleague of Grady’s who is determined to exploit the parks Velociraptors for military means as things continue to go south (cause releasing a bunch of raptors into the wild is the solution to any problem...right guys?).

“Jurassic World” thus essentially becomes a series of dinosaur attacking human set pieces that transition into moments of shameless corporate sponsorship (though one involving Jimmy Buffett running from Pterodactyls while grabbing up margaritas was amusing in spite of itself). So needless to say, I’m discouraged this movie is currently breaking box office records as I submit this review in an attempt to find closure to having spent two hours watching such a dreadful wannabe disaster piece. A film that, like “Jurassic Park’s” dinosaur brethren, needed to stay extinct.